


Nocturnal Confessions

by aqd



Series: tumblr prompts [6]
Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Ficlet, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, One Shot, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-22
Updated: 2017-08-22
Packaged: 2018-12-18 18:36:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11880411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aqd/pseuds/aqd
Summary: A little ficlet for the tumblr prompt: "Is there a reason you’re naked in my bed?"





	Nocturnal Confessions

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to send me a prompt and a pairing on tumblr! a-q-d.tumblr.com/tagged/prompts  
> Have a nice day.

The streets are deserted and Kanda’s steps echo from the walls of houses he passes, leaves scrunch under his feet. His suitcase rattles loudly over the bumpy sidewalk, cutting through the silent night. The moon is hidden behind clouds, so are the stars. One of the streetlamps flickers, surrounded by fluttering moths, wings brushing over metal.  
  
Kanda yawns, covering his mouth with one hand, and stretches, only to wince when his back creaks. It has been a very long day, which has started so much more comfortable. He has woken up in his old child’s room and afterwards eaten breakfast with his family. He doesn’t visit them often, even though his father complains on a regular basis about it, but this time has been quite nice. He didn’t even have a brush with his brother Daisya. It has been nice, but only until his father’s old friend has fallen upon their house in the afternoon. Kanda hates the man with passion and the mere idea of living with him, even though only for another day, causes his blood pressure to go through the roof and so he has left a day earlier than planned. Afterwards he has spent six hours in a train, even though it normally takes only three hours to get back to his university city, but everything has taken forever because of problems with the train’s engine.  
  
Kanda is tired, annoyed and all he wants to do is to fall into his bed and sleep for at least twelve hours. He finally reaches their apartment building and after heaving his suitcase up four flights of stairs, he stands in front of their apartment door. He darts a look at his watch and unlocks the door as silent as possible, because it already after midnight and Lavi, his flatmate, is probably already asleep, since he has to work in the morning. He slips out of his shoes, opens the door to his room and switches the light on, only to falter.  
  
A red shock of hair, in his bed. Kanda frowns and does a step back, but he didn’t accidently walk into Lavi’s room. It’s his. And Lavi is in his bed. Kanda stares at him bewilderedly. Lavi lies on his side, face hidden in Kanda’s pillow. He’s fast asleep, one hand curled into the blanket, the other pushed under the pillow.  
  
Kanda clears his throat loudly and Lavi twitches slightly, cracking his good eye open and blinking confusedly to the switched on light. Kanda clears his throat a second time and now Lavi’s eye jumps towards him and the redhead freezes.  
  
They stare at each other for a long moment, before Lavi sits up. “Yuu?” he asks drowsily and frowns softly. “What are you doing here?”  
  
Kanda doesn’t say anything, he just stares, eyes wandering over Lavi’s tired face and his bare chest. “Is there a reason you’re naked in my bed?” he finally grits out. “What the fuck?”  
  
Lavi looks at him for a moment with mouth agape, now wide awake, before he casts his eye down, cheeks burning and heat slowly creeping over his neck and down his chest. “Um, okay, I can explain,” he says embarrassedly and looks at Kanda, only to avert his eye once more. “And I’m not naked. I wear pants, you see?” he raises the blanked, Kanda’s blanket, but Kanda doesn’t care.  
  
“Then explain,” he says angrily, tiredness forgotten. “And get the fuck out of my bed.”  
  
”Wha- of course.” He jumps up and nearly trips over the blanket. Then he pauses, crossing his arms awkwardly in front of his naked chest.  
  
“I’m waiting,” Kanda hisses and sits down on his desk chair. “What the fuck, Lavi?”  
  
He has never seen Lavi like this, embarrassed out of his mind. He smiles stiffly at Kanda and rubs his neck. “Um,” he starts. “So, you were away.”  
  
“Yes, but now I’m back and fucking pissed off. Keep going,” Kanda growls and crosses his arms. Lavi winces at the anger in his voice and casts his eye down once more.  
  
“I… I… I had just a shit day, a really, really shitty day,” Lavi speaks on and frowns softly. “And I couldn’t sleep and-” He shoots a look at the clock at the wall. “And about two hours ago I just… I just thought maybe I could sleep in your bed. And so I tried, because last time-” He stops, cringing at his own slip. Kanda stares at him.  
  
“What?” he asks, voice getting louder. “ _What_? This wasn’t the first time you slept in my bed?” He gets up and Lavi shrinks ruefully under his angry glare. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”  
  
“Sorry!” He does a step back and starts to fidget with his hands. “Yuu, it’s just… I…”  
  
“What is it?” Kanda now finally shouts. “What reason do you have to evade my fucking privacy like that? How often have you done this? Every time when I’m gone?”  
  
“No!” Lavi replies immediately. “No, today was the second time, I swear it!” He starts to gesticulate. “Yuu, I swear it. And I wanted to put fresh linen on the bed, like I did last time. I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry,” he repeats and Kanda exhales slowly. It’s not as bad as he thought, but still… the idea of somebody sleeping in his bed makes him so uncomfortable. He stares at Lavi, still frowning, before examining his - his - bed.  
  
“Why are you doing that? We have the same mattress. There’s no reason, why you can sleep better in my bed than in your own,” he says, voice a little calmer. Lavi is visibly relieved, but his eye still roams through the room.  
  
“It’s… it’s because,” he starts slowly, casting his eye down and frowning softly. “I don’t know why,” he tries to hedge, but Kanda doesn’t buy it.  
  
“Lavi,” is all he has to say, admitting no contradiction. Lavi looks at him in a way he has never seen before. It’s weirdly… weirdly vulnerable. Kanda raises his brows and finally Lavi speaks on.  
  
“It smells like you,” he whispers and for the first time in his life Kanda has no words. He just stares at him, while Lavi doesn’t meet his eyes. He opens his mouth only to close it a few times.  
  
“What?” he rasps out after endless seconds and now Lavi looks at him.  
  
“I… I’m sorry,” he says silently, jaw working and hands fidgeting. “I… I’ll put some fresh linen on your bed and then I leave you alone, okay?” he ask without waiting for an answer and Kanda looks after him, listening to the sound of naked feet on wooden floor. He didn’t expect this answer, not at all. He has no idea what to think. He only knows that standing next to Lavi while he changes the linen is everything but appealing and so Kanda pauses another moment, before he flees into the bathroom to take a shower. Lavi just walks through the corridor, arms full of pristinely white linen and looks at him, but Kanda closes the bathroom door. The shower is short and cold and his head won’t stop spinning.  
  
_It smells like you_. What is that supposed to mean? Suddenly Kanda has to think about all the times Lavi threw an arm around his shoulders, laid a hand on his forearm, beamed at him as soon as he saw him. He steps out of the shower and wraps a towel around his wet hair, before drying himself off and slipping into cloth slacks and a shirt. He hesitates before opening the door, but when he does his room is deserted and the light is switched off. The door to Lavi’s room is closed and Kanda hears him walking around.  
  
The linen, plainly white like the one before, smells like detergent. Lavi even fluffed his pillow. Kanda examines it a long moment, before he turns around to blow-dry his hair. Afterwards he lies down in the freshly made bed and switches the light off.  
  
_It smells like you_. Now he’s wide awake and so he lies there, staring into the darkness and breathing in the fresh smell of the linen, while listening to Lavi pacing in the next room. His anger is forgotten, instead his heart throbs against his ribcage and too many thoughts rage through his head. His bed was Lavi’s resort after a bad day, apparently for the second time. The imagine of him hiding his face in his pillow flits through Kanda’s brain, together with his flushed cheeks, the uneasiness in his eye, his soft voice. Kanda swallows hardly and keeps turning and tossing, before he finally gives up with a sigh. He switches the light on and then leaves his room, before stopping in front of Lavi’s door. He wavers a moment, before he finally knocks.  
  
Lavi stops dead and it’s silent for a few seconds, until he opens the door and looks at Kanda, still as contrite as before. “Yuu,” he says softly and Kanda examines him with a frown. Lavi’s hair is in disarray and he doesn’t wear his eyepatch. Kanda thinks faintly that he’s the only one Lavi shows himself to without it.  
  
“Why was it a shitty day?” he asks, shoving his hands into the pockets of his slacks. Lavi softly frowns and examines him. “You said it was a shitty day,” he adds, when he doesn’t reply immediately.  
  
“Oh,” he says and swallows. “I… I lost my job.” He looks at Kanda, brows knitted and biting his bottom lip, and for a moment Kanda thinks he’s going to cry, but then he blinks a few times and clears his throat. “Just a shitty day.”  
  
“What happened?” he asks and examines him, while his hands play with the hem of his shirt.  
  
Lavi inhales deeply and steps into his room, before sitting down on his bed. “Take the chair,” he says, and so Kanda does, and moves until he’s sitting cross-legged. “I made a really stupid mistake and the store lost money because of it. And since it wasn’t the first time I messed up, I had to go. Nothing spectacular.” He smiles lopsided and looks at Kanda. “Yuu,” he starts and gets unusually serious. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”  
  
“But you did,” Kanda replies more silent than normally and examines his hands. “It’s… I don’t even like when people sit on my bed. I don’t know why.” He sighs and looks at him.  
  
“I’m really sorry, Yuu,” he says earnestly and looks at him. “I’m sorry and I promise it’ll never happen again.”  
  
“Okay.” Kanda slowly nods and moves slightly on Lavi’s desk chair.  
  
“No hard feelings?” Lavi asks, chewing on his bottom lip.  
  
“No hard feelings,” Kanda replies and snorts when he sighs in relief. He gets up to go back to bed, but he stops in the door. He contemplates for a moment before he turns around. Lavi looks up to him and raises his brows questioningly. Kanda takes a deep breath and then he just asks, because there’s no way he’s going to find sleep before he does. “Lavi, do you have-“ he interrupts himself, bravery suddenly lost and shakes his head. “No, forget it. Goodnight.”  
  
He half out of the door, when Lavi catches his wrist. Kanda looks at him and he let’s go immediately. “Wait.” He hesitates, before speaking on. “What did you want to say?”  
  
Kanda examines him, before casting his eyes down. “I… Lavi, do you have…” He pauses and inhales deeply. He’s horrible at this. “Do you have feelings for me?” And the words are out, hanging heavily in the air, lost in a room so much more chaotic than his own. Lavi stares at him, before his eye flits aside. His cheeks rose, but this time not because he got caught. Kanda feels his own neck heating up, because the way Lavi avoids his eyes is an answer, more than enough.  
  
Lavi doesn’t say anything, he just nods, still not looking at him. “Okay,” Kanda says, because the silence is unbearable, and swallows hardly. Suddenly he regrets asking, because he has no idea how to deal with this information. “I… I guess I’ll go back to bed,” he adds and Lavi wants to say something, but he’s already in the corridor and then in his room, closing the door a little too loud.  
  
Now he’s the one, who’s pacing. Up and down, always the same way. From the door to the window and back. His head is spinning, once more, too many thoughts, heart beating too fast, and Kanda has no idea what to think or what to do. But then Lavi knocks at his door, very softly.  
  
Kanda freezes and for a moment he thinks about not opening, just to escape this conversation. They have to talk about this, he knows it, but still he doesn’t move.  
  
But only until he hears Lavi inhaling shakily. In the next moment the door is open and Kanda’s heart nearly stops.  
  
“Yuu, I’m sorry,” Lavi croaks, cheeks wet and blotchy. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”  
  
Kanda stares at him, before turning around to fetch a handkerchief. Lavi takes it, mumbles silently, “Thanks”, and wipes his cheeks. Kanda absolutely hates seeing him cry. He can’t deal with tears, he never could, every other person just weirds him out, but this is different. His stomach starts to hurt and his hands get cold.  
  
“Don’t,” he asks silently and Lavi looks at him, little drops of water clinging to his long lashes.  
  
“Sorry,” he repeats and blows his nose. “Yuu, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”  
  
Kanda stares at him, mouth very dry and heart bouncing in his chest. “You… you don’t,” he just answers and Lavi falters. He looks at him wide-eyed and raises his brows questioningly. “I’m just… I’m so bad at this,” he adds after a moment and feels to his displeasure his cheeks heating up.  
  
“You aren’t angry?” Lavi asks surprised.  
  
“No,” Kanda answers immediately. “I… Why didn’t you say anything?” He examines him and Lavi smiles, but there isn’t any mirth in his face.  
  
“I was scared,” he replies and the smile disappears. “Yuu, I was so scared that it would ruin our friendship and I… and I can’t…” He falls silent and tears run over his cheeks. “You’re so important to me.”  
  
Kanda looks at him for an endless moment, eyes jumping over his blotchy cheeks, sloped shoulders, the line of worry between his brows. “Please stop crying,” he asks and then he turns around to get another handkerchief, just to give his antsy hands something to do.  
  
“I’m trying.” Lavi wipes his face once more and tries to smile. “Sorry.”  
  
Kanda just shakes his head and examines him for another second. “We’re staying friends,” he finally says. “Somebody has to look after you, dumbass,” he adds in an attempt to make him laugh, but it doesn’t work.  
  
“I know that you don’t have the same feeling for me,” he says and blinks to keep his eye from spilling over. “I’m sorry for putting you in this position.” He looks at him, maybe he expects Kanda to say something, to object, but his voice is somewhere lost between his rips. Lavi inhales deeply and turns around. “I think I should go to bed. Goodnight, Yuu.”  
  
Kanda doesn’t answer, instead he just looks after him, slowly going back to his room, and he frowns. He’s a brave man, without a doubt, but right now he’s nothing more than a scaredy-cat. He’s _so_ bad at this. “Lavi,” he says and he stops and turns around to look at him.  
  
“Yes?” Lavi examines him and wipes his cheeks with the back of his hand. “Yuu?”  
  
He casts his eyes down and wishes Lavi wouldn’t look at him. “I… And if we would try?” And that’s it. The words fly through the small corridor and hit Lavi hard enough that he nearly loses his balance. He stares at Kanda, eye very green and very wide.  
  
“What?” he asks and steps closer. “Do you mean…?”  
  
“Yes,” Kanda answers, even though he has no idea, what Lavi wants to say. “Let’s go on a date or shit like this. I don’t know.”  
  
Lavi blinks slowly. “Like, seeing a movie and eat something afterwards?”  
  
“Yeah or whatever do I know. I don’t know shit about dating.” He examines Lavi, who looks at him for another long moment.  
  
“Maybe you should think it in silence beforehand,” Lavi says and fidgets with the drawstring of his pyjama pants.  
  
Kanda looks at him and clears his throat. “Who said I didn’t do that?”  
  
Lavi looks in surprise at him and his hands pause for a moment. “When?”  
  
“Is that so important? Let’s go on a date.” Kanda meets his eye without problems and in the end Lavi is the one, who looks away.  
  
“Are you sure?” he asks and there’s hope in his voice. His shoulders are less heavy and a small smile sits on his lips. Kanda nods immediately and suddenly he laughs, green eye glinting. “Okay,” he says and beams at Kanda. “I… I didn’t expect that.” He laughs some more and Kanda’s hands feel less cold. “How about… how about we cook tomorrow and watch a movie? Or do you want to go out?”  
  
“No, sounds good,” Kanda replies and his face feels way too hot for his taste. “I’ll cook for you. Tempura?”  
  
Lavi nods and the smile on his face grows even more. “I… Okay, Tempura and a movie.” He laughs and steps closer. Kanda, who is relieved that the tears are gone, snorts and shifts his weight from one foot to the other.  
  
“Oh god, I’m so shitty at this,” he says and Lavi shakes his head.  
  
“No, you’re not,” he answers kindly and then he scrutinizes him for a moment. “Yuu, can I hug you?” he asks and Kanda looks at him in surprise. “You’re not into touchy-feely, I know, but can I?”  
  
Kanda blinks and doesn’t answer, instead he just opens his arms and then Lavi is suddenly so much closer than before, wrapping his arms around his waist and his hair tickling Kanda’s cheek. He hesitatingly lays his hands on Lavi’s naked back, noticing faintly that he smells like something fruity, maybe a shampoo? He feels so warm and Kanda curls his fingers into his shoulders, clearly noticing the shiver darting over Lavi’s back.  
  
They stand there like this for a few second and it’s at the same time nice and incredibly awkward and then Lavi draws back, face as red as Kanda’s feels, and laughs a little embarrassedly. “Tomorrow?” he asks and Kanda nods.  
  
“Tomorrow.”  
  
Lavi smiles at him and then he turns around, steps so much lighter than before. Kanda closes his door and crawls into the freshly made bed. He inhales deeply and closes his eyes, even though he knows that there is no way he can sleep tonight.  
  
He opens his eyes, when he hears Lavi’s voice through the paper-thin wall. “Strike!” He snorts and stares through the darkness at the wall separating them.  
  
“Are you for real?” he asks loudly enough for him to hear and after a second Lavi starts to laugh.  
  
“Oh shit, you heard that?” he asks.  
  
“Yeah, I did, you fucking dumbass,” Kanda answers and listens to him laughing, now more muffled than before, probably hiding his face in his pillow.  
  
Kanda inhales the scent of detergent and closes his eyes.  
  
Tomorrow.


End file.
